My great narrative!

Hola amigos!
I'm back again, and for this amazing blog post, I am posting my narrative, as you all should know every morning we do literacy, and lately, we have been working on a narrative that I have finished not too long ago so here I am posting it! Now I know I tell you this practically every time but please tell me what I could do better next time, I would really appreciate it!
Adios amigos! 


(This is the narrative)

The Back Story of Thor (My version)

You mysteriously wake up inside of a tent. Surrounded by nothing but a dark forest… You open up your tent, take a step outside and… BOOM!, CRASH, BANG lightning crashes down in front of you making you lose your balance and fall backward still in shock from what just happened, you start to lose consciousness and blackout unaware of the fire that has just started from the lightning bolt slowly starting to surround your tent.

When you wake up days later you find yourself unable to see, It turns out there was a person hiking near bye and they had called emergency services for you just as they saw all of the smoke and firey embers, but never mind that, the bandages that are covering all your burns are still wrapped around your whole body making it a struggle to move, suddenly you hear someone shout out loudly“nurse! they’re awake” you recognize the voice it's your sister! You try to speak to her but all that comes out is a muffle, you hear footsteps and suddenly you feel hands all over you “its ok Mr. Chalk we are just unraveling your bandages,” the nurse calmly said as she unraveled the bandages from over your face making you squint at the light that has just swallowed your eyes making you unable to see. 

As you get used to the blinding lights around you, you see your sister who was currently smiling with joy ever since you awoke from your five-day sleep, which she described as long worry fulled weeks, as days went pass you were finally let out of the prison of boredom apparently called a “hospital”, but as you were walking out, you noticed something that caught your eye you start to walk towards the strange object still wondering what it could be, as you get closer to the mysterious object you stop and just… stare at it like it was some foreign thing from another galaxy, but maybe it was… 

When you finish staring at the thing you lean closer so that is was just in your reach for you could pick it up, but as soon as you touch it your mind goes blank like you were just going to have a dream except, this isn’t a dream it’s a vision, but you don't know that yet. In the strange ‘dream’, you see a space like ship and a beam of light that looks like a lightning bolt coming out of it and crashing to the ground right in front of what seems to be your tent that you were camping in then the ‘dream’ blacked out for a second and then you saw you? The vision shows you getting knocked out by the blast of the bolt, but then it shows another lightning bolt coming down striking you, though instead of getting electrocuted you just absorb it, then everything goes black again and you wake up on the ground with your sister standing over you “What happened?” you say with a slight groan in your voice, 

“Well we were walking to my car and you just walked towards this hammer or whatever it is like a moth to light and when I ran over to you I saw you had fainted,” She said with a worried look on her face,

“Oh,” you reply,

As your loving sister ever so kindly tries helps you up you reach your hand out so she can grab hold of it but as soon as you do so the hammer starts to vibrate uncontrollably making you take your hand out of the air in panic and as you do the shaking stops, you pause for a minute and then hesitantly you reach your hand back out and the hammer flings itself straight to your hand making your sister jump back, but instead of getting scared you just look at the hammer realizing what that ‘dream’ actually was, while also realizing what this actually means… 

TO BE CONTINUED! (Comment for a part 2)